Hamsterdam Hill

"Charming, in A Deadly Sort of Way"

The city of the hill welcomes you home. Hamsterdam Hill, founded in 2014. 

Town Guide

RESTAURANTS | BARS | NIGHTCLUBS | MONUMENTS


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Harrington Park

Site of the bloody battle of Hamsterdam Hill, in which Mayor Harrington's Hamster Horde overwhelmed Crazy Carl's Corn Clan to seize control of the territory. 

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Hamsterdam Hill Statehouse

Where the Ham Hill Legislature meets once every three months for a total of twenty minutes, at a taxpayer cost of $31 million. 

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Mayor Harrington's Palace

 

With construction taking place from 1837-2014, it's the only structure on earth built exclusively by rodents. 

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Hamsterdam Home

Long term mental health rehabilitation facility, primarily housing victims of local neurosurgeon Larry Hapsburg's "Hey you! Yes you! Hand me your brain!" campaign, including Hapsburg himself. 

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Bigfoot's Celebrity Steakhouse

Closed recently for egregious health violations, the steakhouse still attracts thousands of tourists each year. Many of them perish attempting to get the owner's autograph.

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Old Cotter's Farm

Famous for housing the only semi-intelligent chicken, the farm is to be approached with extreme caution due to Old Cotter's habit of shooting most moving things on sight.

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Thingamabobs & Things

Come on in to try some of local Martian XR-83W's wares. Best experienced in the 5th and 6th dimensions.

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Standard Meat

Producer of fine meats. Now open for factory tours! Standard Meat is not responsible for delicious family members lost during tours. 

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Hamsterdam Hill Town Hall

Staffed entirely by ghosts, it is open year round. Please note: Strict limit of two dozen gun licenses per person.