Hamsterdam Hill

"Charming, in a deadly sort of way"

The city of the hill welcomes you home. Hamsterdam Hill, founded in 2014. 

How To: Make A Souffle with George Winston

Hello there you salty dogs! Big ole smelly GW is on the scene to make sure that you are preparing your souffles with the utmost care. Rule #1 of souffle making is: If that villainous traitor Art Ester tells you how to make it, do the exact opposite. He is always busy at work plotting nefarious ways to lure excitable how-toers into making explosive souffles. And we’re not doing that here. Not unless you’re going to feed it to that scalawag Ester. Then I fully support it.

Ingredients List:

  1. 11 eggs (If you cannot find chicken eggs, dinosaur ones will suffice)

  2. 14 screaming lizards (You must induce the screaming; rough tickling usually does the trick)

  3. A Bag of Bees (This can be purchased at your local Bee Shop)

Let’s get baking!

  1. Quit your job. You’ll need to clear your calendar to bake a souffle, as they are extremely complicated and require your total attention.

  2. End all of your relationships with humans. They are needy and may call or text you at one point during your souffle-making, ruining your progress.

  3. Once you have severed all ties to humankind, you are ready to get started! Our first task will be to construct Souffle Gloves. Your hands are far too primitive to handle something as precious as a souffle; it would simply fall to dust if you tried to make it with your clumsy meat-knobs.

  4. To make Souffle Gloves, simply form three foot lengths of wire into long loops, one for each of your fingers. Then stretch Pterodactyl skin over the loops. Pterodactyl skin is pliable, and its ancient power will intimidate the souffle into letting you control it.

  5. Once you have your Gloves fastened to your skin, crack eight eggs into a bowl.

  6. Whisk the eggs vigorously. You may use your terrifying new Glove-Fingers for this task.

  7. The Gloves will render your hands useless for anything other than souffle-making, but swiftly learning necessary new foot skills will be super handy in impressing peers at fancy dress parties.

  8. After adding sugar, flour, and salt, place in a casserole and bake for 25 minutes on 375 degrees.

  9. Gloat whenever someone invites you to a party, constantly reminding others that, “oh yes, I constructed a souffle last Thursday. That is why I cannot make proper use of my hands”.

  10. They will not take this evidence as a fair argument as to why you persist in wearing your Souffle Gloves at all times, and may start refusing to accompany you on important “team tasks”, such as ingredient gathering and bathroom.