Town's First Underwater Bar Opens to Rave Reviews, Some Drowning

Several smallmouth bass have recently opened Ham Hill’s hottest new bar, the Drunken Guppy, in Lake Harrington, to largely positive reviews.

The bar has taken some criticism for being mostly unable to serve drinks, as it is located underwater and staffed entirely by fish, who do not have the necessary appendages to dispense beverages.

Some determined patrons have managed to get a drink. “I had a beer there,” boasted local foam licker Jarm Rudabella, 22. “I mean, I was already drinking it when I found out there was a bar underneath where I was floatin’, but it was a pretty cool spot. I’ll probably go check out their specials sometime.”

The establishment has also received positive feedback from teenagers, who have found it to be a handy meet up spot. ”It’s really hard for your parents to find you if you’re underwater,” noted Stacy Stacy, 16, of West Hamsterdam Hill. “And they do have some seating, if you can hold your breath for a while.”